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Woman:Do you drink beer?Man: YesWoman:How many beers a day?Man:Usually about 3 draft Bock beersWoman:How much do you pay per Draft Bock beer?Man: $5.00 which includes a tip(This is where it gets scary!)Woman:And how long have you been drinking?Man:About 20 years, I supposeWoman:So a Bock beer costs $5 and you have 3 Bock beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, it would be approximately $5400 correct?Man:CorrectWoman:If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spending at $108,000, correct?Man:CorrectWoman:Do you know that if you didn't drink so much Bock beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?Man:Do you drink beer?Woman:NoMan:Where's your Ferrari?This one was Submitted by Schop:There was a middle aged man who had been having daily migraine headaches every day for the past. You couldn’t just sit in one and concentrate on getting drunk. There was always the next one and the next one after that until I was tired thinking about it, but trudged after her, hoping that she had not forgotten that I was with her. She was beautiful once again, freed from the indifference of the zombie clinicatarians. She laughed and joked and sprinted from bar to bar. I wanted to put my head down in a cool dark green place, but I kept going. Somehow I made it to last train home time and the cavernous air suited my head and woke me up to the smell of petulia oil. I sat beside her, quiet at last and moved my paw over her shoulder. She pillowed her head against my shoulder so that if anyone had taken a photograph then we would have been like those old fashioned folk that went to the cinema to cannoodly. She was Laura Ingilis once again, bright and breezy and untouchable, so full of silent plans. She shivered. I took my jacket off and put it over her shoulders. She bequeathed me.
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